Monday, July 15, 2013


This last week my son and I were talking while researching something online. For some reason, we came across a picture of a black widow with her sac of eggs. Ew. Ew. Ehhhwwwww. 

Pete says, “You know, Mom, when the eggs hatch, the baby spiders eat their mom.”


Okay, I thought that idea might be a good follow on to last week’s blog about obedience. I mean a mother who sacrifices herself so her babies can live is an awesome thing. 

Two things.

      1. I spent about 2 seconds googling that idea until I couldn’t stand the pictures of spiders. There are conflicting reports about this “sacrifice.” Some sites say yes, some say no…that it is another species. After 2 seconds I am creeped out and can’t research anymore. I am in therapy now.

      2.  Did I mention I’m creeped out? I don’t know if eeewwwww is a word and I don’t care. It accurately describes my skin crawling and my psyche totally freaked out.

      3. Okay, three things. Not using that example.

However, I can use the following without invoking the “eeewwww” word. 

Pelicans. Stories and myths throughout history talk of the self sacrifice of the mother pelican. When a pelican babies hatch, she loves and cares for them with all her being. If for some reason, there is no food for a long time and the babies are starving, she will peck at her chest until she bleeds and allows her babies to eat her heart and drink her blood. It sustains them until they can fly off and find food for themselves. (

I share these nature/science examples for a specific reason. I want moms to realize they sacrifice all the time. I want to recognize this sacrifice and cheer them on. 

Now I want to take a moment and remind us moms that sacrifice means giving of ourselves but not necessarily giving our children everything. 

Sometimes we get caught up in the technology, the sports, the accolades, etc, of what society tells us “good kids” do and are. The latest phone, the newest sports technology, the best book for our kids to read…all those things are flashed before us and subconsciously tell us our kids’ lives are not complete without those things. So we think we are sacrificing to give these things to them. 

However, what our kids really need is God. God is not restricted by technology, sports, accolades, or anything else. In fact, contrary to what you may hear, God’s word is not even archaic. It is relevant, all encompassing, and full of encouragement. 

I once read a pledge put together by V. Gilbert Beers in which it is suggested that each day we need to share the Word of God with our children.

There’s no doubt we all feel inadequate trying to educate our children with who God is, what He can do for us, and why we need Him. We don’t feel we are strong enough in our own faith to propagate it to our children. Nevertheless, that is our biggest calling. 

So the real question is: Are you willing to sacrifice your time, your insecurity, and your inadequate feelings in order to share the most powerful tool we have as mothers? 

We are pelicans. If we choose. We can reach deep into our hearts. We find the nebulous, undefined and unequaled part of ourselves, our faith. And we give it to our children. That is sacrifice.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I Am Mother

There she sat. In the rain. There was no escape. Nowhere to go. This was her home. Her life. Her vocation.


There she sat. Her eyes clamped shut. Her body shielding her children.

Her wings unfolded, spread out covering her modest nest sheltered by only a few overhead branches. And the rain came.

Nothing buffered her from the elements except those scattered limbs and leaves. 

She did not complain. She did not rebuke the heavens. She did the only the thing she could. She sheltered her children.

In those moments when I watched her patiently deal with the rain, my own life changed. 

I’ve struggled with those moments that I am not good enough. Not strong enough. Not all that God wants me to be. I put on my cloak of “writer” or “author” and wrap my identity in those words. 

I compartmentalize my motherhood vocation at times hoping to strive to be so much more. I want to be the breadwinner I once was. Use my knowledge for something more than teaching my own brood. I am seduced by thoughts of success. I imagine my own ideas taking flight and empowering others. I long to travel and speak and turn others toward Christ. I strive to write that novel that fuels others. I build it all up in my mind. Yes. I can do this. Just give me the chance, Lord. Let me spread my wings and fly.

And yet…God asks something else of me. 

When I saw that little bird sitting on her nest, I knew it. I saw it. I experienced it. 


I am to spread my wings…over my children. My family. My nucleus that God has provided me. That is my vocation. Right now. In this moment. 

And the more I fight it, the less I become. Why? Because I am not honoring who I am at my core. 

Yes, I am an author, a writer, an engineer. But I am also a mother. And that trumps everything. 

God will honor all those desires I have. But it will be in His time, when He knows I’m ready. He knows my family. Yes, my children are growing. They are all teenagers. But they still need me. They need direction, consolation, protection and encouragement. 

So until God says I’m ready, I need to remember that little bird. Obedient in the pouring rain. Vulnerable to the elements. 


 Because I am Mother.